Well today was not a good day. I got up at 6:30...i havent been sleeping well since Bitty got since in the ER...see Facebook entry of what happened there....and since Lucy had a major sezior (sp) the other night. Both of them have been sleeping in bed with me. So i'm uncomfortable and not sleeping good.
So i got up at 6:30 to take Lucy and Suzy (Grandmother's dog) to the vet. Mom was suppose to get half way done and then wake me up. Well they decided to let me sleep...which was nice and stuff but i was going to go to remind them to ask certain questions about Bitty...they forgot. Also, before they left.......... (which the appt was at 9:30 it takes 20 minutes to get there and they left at 9:20 and ended up making the vet late after them.).........they just walked out the door...no bye Robin we will be back. The last time they did this i didnt know that my grandmother was going with my mom and i couldnt find her and i went into panic mood...so i yelled well bye...and my grandmother was ugly about me yelling.
So i called Kara and vented with her for about an hour and then laid back down and 10 minutes later they were back home. I then fell back alseep around 12pm and didnt wake up until around 5pm...yes i slept a lot. But in the past 4 days i think i have gotten a total of 13 hrs of sleep when i'm use to...20. And those 13 hours havent been my FULL DEAD TO THE WORLD HARD SLEEPING....so i've been a grumpy bear.
Then i went downstairs and eat supper with the family and watched a tv show and then went back upstairs and slept for about 45 minutes...and then watched the British shows with family and then came up here and have been online every since.
I"m going to have to get back to my New Years not resolutions but promises to myself again. And these are not in the order i want to do them..just in the order that they are coming into my head.
1. Get health/Get back on my diet/ Start walking.
2. Be happy again--Try to be more possitive and don't let out peoples negitivity get to me.
3. Get back to doing the things i love to do.. (cross-stitching, scrapbooking, bowling, going to the zoo, reading, getting back on a schedule of emailing my friends again..ex: Sonja, Joel, Sam, Gwen, Stacie, Shawn, Charles..etc. and Making time and to hang out with LeAnne more.)
4. Have time for me..get away from all the negitivity at home and work and just take a drive or stay in my room for a little bit...go to a movie by myself..which i would hate but i would do...do something for myself...
5 i need to start liking myself again before i can even start to think about liking someone to be with for the rest of my life.
6. Don't let people take me for granted and don't let people run over me and don't let people tell me how i should feel and should act.
7 To stop making excuses. (ex: i cant go somewhere b/c....or that person is just having a bad day b/c....or he really is a good person but he's just.....)
8. To start saving up for when i do move out. I dont think i can live in this house much longer. I'm litterally going crazy...i'm depressed...i'm unhappy (same thing i know) and i need to take care of me for a change.
9. I want to find a Church...and not because someone told me that i was going to h**l and that my soul was in trouble b/c in his eyes i'm not a Christian and that i have no formal religion and because i dont go to Church and read my Bible every day.....but because before that person said that i was already wanting to do this.
10. To not let a certain person pull me back into his life....i'm not going to be the girl in the back ground in his life anymore...i'm not going to let him break me down...i have LET him control my life for some time now...and i have finally realized that i dont need someone like him in my life to be happy. That i'm going to be JUST FINE on my own...and if dont get married or don't have children..then that is God's will. (there are some people that know who this certain person is....and some that will figure it out.....and i hope that ya'll can help me with this goal...i have already started going forward with my life...i dont want to fall back again).
10 Realize (work wise) that i'm only one person i can only do the work of one person and i can only do that work to the best of my ability. Right now is not a good time to be looking for another job. Also as of January 19th...i will have worked at my current job for 5 years. They have always said it's going to get worse so that it can get better. Well it's REALLY bad right now...it's to the point were i cant keep up...and to the point where i rather socialize than do my work...Which starting Monday...i'm going to have to tell people...look you might be caught up on your work but i'm not...so i cant talk right now. And instead of walking away and going into someones office and talking to them for an hour or two i'm going to start walking around the building for say 30 minutes and maybe that will one get me in better physical shape but also get my mind off of the negitive stuff that is going on at work.
11. Taking better care of myself....not letting things bother me as much...to the point where i'm so depressed that i'm to my breaking point. Thanks to 3 great friends that i rely on a bunch and sometimes take for granted...which i'm going to work on also...not taking my friends for granted....i have been able to make it threw a lot of hard times in the past few years. Especially the past 2 or 3 months.
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